I recently accepted a role back in with the hospitality sector, I start tomorrow at 9a. It is a bit of a mixed bag of emotions for me - when is it never though? I have come to several realizations over the past couple of weeks with the help of my friends and Oprah’s Lifeclass - don’t laugh. Some think that she is the devil and others god but I just have been open recently to receive positive energy and it has been a slow process, but I am changing my ideas on things. I believe for the better. If you have been following me for any amount of time you may recall a book that I read about a year ago by Iyanla Vanzant. Well, Oprah had her on and she spoke to me once again. Her words speak so much truth to me that is relevant to me day/day. Maybe I will re-post some of my favorite quotes again from the book here soon in case you’re new to my blog…
Anyways. The mixed bag is this. I left a very good job almost two years ago to pursue a career in photography and here i am back in the city after not completing university and back in hotels. This time however at an entry level position. Through all of my efforts, whatever the reason may be, I have not managed to get into a similar or higher position that I once held. I have had to let my ego go and allow this job take me to my next journey. Just from this personal experience over the last three months I know it to be a great struggle to let your ego go and what you believe you deserve and just allow yourself to be employed after being out of the workforce for two years. This is not a job that I am excited about in the least but I am excited to get back into the game and see where I can take it. I have been high up there before and who says I cannot climb even higher. This job is going to allow me an income to focus on my photography and also to continue to network and try to get in with the right photographers and people and follow what it is I want.
I am nervous walking into this hotel tomorrow and have everyone ask me ‘so what did you do before this’ then after telling them to see the look on their face as if to speak ‘what the hell are you here for then and not out there…’. I believe it is going to take a lot of energy to overcome my ego in the next coming days and trust in myself. To tell myself that I am not defined but a job, my friends, family, my art, past actions…Those do not truly define me. They do not tell the rounded story of who I am at my core. I am going to walk out of here tomorrow morning strong and hopefully will just be able to keep it all in check and stay positive.
I have witnessed one particular man allow his ego get to him and he ran his family into bankruptcy, foreclosure, family suicide, all for what? Because he felt less of a man to take on a job that he felt that was beneath him. I have made the decision not to allow my ego or my past to control me as who i am today and keep me in the past. It will only keep me in the past and not in the now and in the progression of the greatness is to come.